#5 A fire on the beach- a fire in the heart...

I grew up in a church- going family. In our family there are two lines of belief: christian or agnostics.  At school I was really interested in Bible stories, as I were always wondering what the meaning of life was supposed to be. And Douglas Adams' answer of 42 did not do it for me... (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy- a favourite book of mine, by the way!)  I was religious, but did not  have a relationship with Jesus yet. My faith could be described as a set of rules- don't drink, smoke, sleep around, dance...  And so it went on till I was 16- in South Africa's Standard 8- (Grade 10 today)

The Christian Student Movement had camps during holiday times at Winklespruit near Durban, South Africa. These camps usually were about 5 days long, at a camping site next to the beach.  As a young boy, living far from the beach, it was wonderful to go to these camps, swimming in the sea, playing volleball and beach cricket, meeting friends from all over the Natal Province of South Africa. 

Every day also had some spiritual sessions. One of the highlights on these camps was the last evening. Then all the counsellors prepared a very special journey on the beach.  We went walking on the beach in the dark, each one carrying a kerosene torch... the beach is quite a stretch, and then it makes a bend. Around the bend there stood a burning cross on the beach. Now in South Africa a burning cross does not have the KKK connection as in the USA, it is not a racist symbol here at all. In fact, the message was that the cross of Jesus became a shining light in the darkness. As we gathered around the cross, we quietly sat down. The pastor leading the camp reasd from Luke 15- the story of the Prodigal Son.  He told us of the Fatherheart of God, and of the life in abundance which flowed from a personal relationship with Jesus. And then he invited us to commit our lives to Jesus as Lord and King. That evening of 3 October 1983 I said yes to Jesus.  And a new journey began. It was quite a bumpy ride so far. But even if I sometimes doubt a lot of things, I am sure about the foundation of my life. Even if I do not understand everything, I know this: we were made as social creatures- we need relationships in our lives.

My personal experience is that it makes sense to me that the God who created heaven and earth, wants to be a Heavenly Father to me.  My belief is that Jesus came to show me the way, to sacrifice Himself to give me a new life.  And I believe that the Holy Spirit is busy reforming my life to be more and more a vessel of God's love to others.
As I experience God in my life, I am also sure that Jesus'commandment to love one another (John 15 to name just one example) is still the best way of life on earth. If everybody loved one another, this world would already feel like a piece of heaven. 
Relationships became the most important thing in my life, with God, family and friends. I find the greatest joy in relationships. And in my life- the things that hurts the most is broken relationships...

So if you read this to understand me a little better, this is one of the crucial moments in my life. I may be one of God's more uncertain children- a doubting Thomas if you like. But this I know- Jesus died and rose for me.  He has given me a new life.  I still have a very hard time living a holy life. I grew up in an industrial town, and really have a hard time to not use swear words. I  still have a hard time trusting the Lord in financial matters. My faith is sometimes weak, and I really get upset about the level of commitment in His church.  But Jesus has never let me down. I trust in Him, even if it sometimes still feels like a small trust- like the mustard seed...

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Picture found on the internet- I just can't see the blog's name anywhere to give credit where credit is due- so sorry if it is your picture!
That time in my life I did not have a camera to take a picture, the picture of the burning cross is in my heart...